Microsoft customer support

Discussion in 'Backyard BBQ' started by AAH, Sep 30, 2014.

  1. AAH

    AAH I love blinky lights :) Community Project Designer

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    I'm sure all of the Aussies and possibly many of the others from around the world have had the conmen ring them up claiming to be from Microsoft Customer Support (almost universally from their Indian call centre). Over the years I've had countless numbers of these calls and have varied the routine from just hanging up on them to playing them for a while. The last 2 calls I've banged on speaker phone so the wife and kids can enjoy the fun. The 2nd last 1 I'm sorry to say I confused the poor, ill trained conman. When he said that there was a problem with my computer and I asked him which 1 as I have 6 you could almost hear him struggling through his pre-arranged script to work out what to do. After maybe 30s of complete and utter silence he simply hung up :( . Tonights call I again put on speaker phone, again told him that I have 6 computers but he trundled on through his spiel as if I only had 1. I was busy unfortunately and didn't have much time to play so I hung up on him. Previously I have gone through the process of saying "hello" repeatedly as if I can't hear them until such time as they hang up. The 3 times I have asked if they get paid a flat rate for conning people or get a commission based on the number of people they conned the very rude people have immediately hung up on me. :(
    Anyway. After tonights call the wife and son were having a chuckle and we started to develop a plan for next few times they ring. The plan for the next few calls is
    1) Answer the phone as "Australian Federal Police, Alan speaking"
    2) When he/she gets to the part where they say they are from Microsoft Customer Support I burst out and say "Hey, I am too"
    3) After he says "there is a problem with your computer" (said with an Indian accent), I burst out and say "you've found it. i only reported it stolen half an hour ago"

    If you have any other suggestion for adding a bit of cheer to the life of these lovely people or if you finally get 1 of them to tell you what their pay basis is based on can you post in here. I'm interested :)
     
  2. Tigion

    Tigion New Elf

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    Tell them you have the wrong number they have called Apple Support
     
  3. scamper

    scamper Senior Elf

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    I too have tried all the different routines.
    I have a couple of times just said that I will get my wife as she knows how to deal with the computer and then left the phone off the hook.
    I am sure someone has to pay their phone bill so I try and cost them money.
    In the end the best thing we did was call Telstra and block all international incoming calls. I don't recall having one of these scams since.
     
  4. aaronwa

    aaronwa New Elf

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    Funny story!


    I actually work for apple in an At Home Position.


    My home line is exclusively used or work, so i will answer " Apple Australia, Aaron Speaking"


    Sometimes it is a scammer, and i go into work mode asking for their name, email address and product serial number so i can access their profile.


    They also don't like it when you advise the call is recorded.




    Confuses the hell out of them!
     
  5. BradsXmasLights

    BradsXmasLights WiFi Interactive

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    I've played with these guys a few times before too. I had them on the phone for 1.5hrs once, before they told me to go F myself up my ass :eek: LOL


    Tell them your keyboard doesn't have a window keys (eg: like the old ones). There's no button between control & alt? Confused them totally :p


    Pretend you have 3G or dialup internet too - great stalling tatic to buy time whilst 'connecting to internet' and pretending to 'downloading'
     
  6. David_AVD

    David_AVD Good news, everyone!

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    I told the first one I had a Mac. She insisted there was a Windows laptop so I (impolitely) told her where to go.

    The second call was a guy and after he went through his initial spiel, I started asking if he was wearing shoes, what type they were, etc. He didn't quite know what to make of it. lol
     
  7. smartalec

    smartalec Im a SmartAlec what can i say! Community Project Designer

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    ive asked them what time he will be home, cause im at his house having fun with his wife..
    an that he need to stock the fridge with more beer.
    that was a instant hangup..

    have'nt had them for awhile since then sadly
     
  8. Superman

    Superman I Have C.L.A.P and its very infectious Global Moderator

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    I just tell them to ring David @ AVD as he is my network administrator.lol
     
  9. ԆцряєсϮ

    ԆцряєсϮ Senior Elf

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    Ive set up a VM with Win98, I let them log in and then watch them try and show me errors on the non existent event log.......
     
  10. dale82

    dale82 Senior Elf

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    I just speak German to them, They hang up pretty quick
     
  11. damona

    damona Full Time Elf

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    The latest version of this is. "I am from Telstra? your internet is about to be disconnected, we are doing maintenance...." My wide response is go ahead. I assume the next step is to ask for modem password or remote desktop in to fix the modem due to the change about to happen.
     
  12. Ɠαяєтн

    Ɠαяєтн Mae gen i C.L.A.P ei heintus iawn

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    Mine followed a story I heard some time ago.


    I kept him talking for about 30 mins whilst I pretended to boot my PC and connect to the internet. Finally I said "I could not get the screen to come on". He asked if there was any lights on the front, to which I answered "No". At this point I thought he would hang up as this was away from his prepared script. Instead he asked if the monitor cable was plug in, I said "I couldn't see and need to get a torch". Some 10 minutes later I came back, he was still on the phone to my surprise. He then asked why I needed a torch......


    My response was bliss. "The lights in the house have gone out, we have a very bad storm here". At that point he hung up.
     
  13. fasteddy

    fasteddy I have C.L.A.P Global Moderator Generous Elf

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    I also get these calls all the time and play the various games with them as well. I always like to tag them along for as long as I can so to waste their time just like they are doing to everyone else

    I had one situation where I dragged this guy on for ages and then right at the end told him what I thought of him and then he started ringing me back with abusive phones calls, all i would do is laugh everytime he called and call him a slum dog looser and to get a real job, im sure he was hoping i would get angry, but i enjoyed every time he called.

    You have to love these pieces of scum that prey on the unknowing
     
  14. i13

    i13 Senior Elf

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    LOL. Apparently they believe you if you say it's 3am but I have not tried it myself.

    You can confuse them by insisting that you want to talk to Bill (meaning Bill Gates) regardless of what they want you to do.
     
  15. multicast

    multicast Senior Elf Generous Elf

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    I told them to ring AAH, and gave them his phone number, because he has lots of windows computers and definatley needs help.
     

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