Hi Jim. As OzAz mentioned there is the Light Up Ohio Facebook and their 'mini-conference' typically held in the Westerville area (about 90 minutes for me). I would like to attend the 2021 event if they schedule one. Individuals do get together for things but as would be expected it depends upon required travel distances. And, Covid 19 is still a problem unfortunately.
For xLights help, there is the Zoom virtual meetings regularly held but it begins in the early US hours. xLights.org has videos on just about every aspect of the software which can be viewed and the ACL Chat Room is also a place for help.